Malaprop Mishaps Part 2

Just in case you thought my initial post was just a week of bad luck or some sort of verbal voodoo gone wrong, you were mistaken. They are frequent. For amusement I will keep updating as I drop these pearls of wisdom. I have asked my friends to actually tell me now when I do them instead of ignoring them for the sake of a smooth running conversation, good friends that they are.tumblr_m6cdxx6SFN1rotbk7o1_400

Friend: Well that was pretty awful!

Me: Awful? It was absolutely adismal!

Friend: What?!

Me: Adismal. Like awful…

Pause

Friend: OH, Abysmal and Dismal, I get it!

Me: I don’t….

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Friend: I’m so busy I don’t think I’ll have time for lunch

Me: Well that’s crap. You should get a saddle bag.

Friend: What?

Me: A saddle bag. So you can eat at you desk and keep working.

Friend: I still don’t know what you mean

Me: They fill them with nuts and put them over the horses heads so they can eat as they go.

Friend: I thought that’s what nose bags were for…

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Walking from dinner I was telling my friend about how great my new mittens were.Gloves They’re like transformer mittens where you can fold them over your fingers or leave your fingers out, I was showing my friend how they worked:

Me: Look at how great my gloves are, they’re like transformer gloves!

Friend: How so?

Me: Well, I can wear them with no top like handless gloves or pull the top over and I have mittens

Friend: Silence

Me: Look! Handless: Mittens, Handless; MITTENS (demonstrating as I went) Handless: Mittens

Friend: You mean finger-less

Handless gloves. Almost as useful as headless hats.

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