Just in case you thought my initial post was just a week of bad luck or some sort of verbal voodoo gone wrong, you were mistaken. They are frequent. For amusement I will keep updating as I drop these pearls of wisdom. I have asked my friends to actually tell me now when I do them instead of ignoring them for the sake of a smooth running conversation, good friends that they are.
Friend: Well that was pretty awful!
Me: Awful? It was absolutely adismal!
Me: Adismal. Like awful…
Friend: OH, Abysmal and Dismal, I get it!
Me: I don’t….
Friend: I’m so busy I don’t think I’ll have time for lunch
Me: Well that’s crap. You should get a saddle bag.
Me: A saddle bag. So you can eat at you desk and keep working.
Friend: I still don’t know what you mean
Me: They fill them with nuts and put them over the horses heads so they can eat as they go.
Friend: I thought that’s what nose bags were for…
Walking from dinner I was telling my friend about how great my new mittens were. They’re like transformer mittens where you can fold them over your fingers or leave your fingers out, I was showing my friend how they worked:
Me: Look at how great my gloves are, they’re like transformer gloves!
Friend: How so?
Me: Well, I can wear them with no top like handless gloves or pull the top over and I have mittens
Me: Look! Handless: Mittens, Handless; MITTENS (demonstrating as I went) Handless: Mittens
Friend: You mean finger-less
Handless gloves. Almost as useful as headless hats.